Chapter 24: Saddness and Longing

Locas stood up, but his eyes were fixed on my lips. He looked like he hadn't had enough. "This is Willard's sofa. What a pity. If it were my sofa, you would not have the strength to walk out the door." Hearing his suggestive words, I sat up. The intimate atmosphere was still there, but it didn't stop me from glaring at him. "You're crazy." He picked up his jacket. "Your silent follower and admirer is hurt and desperately needs your comfort. I don't want to see you coaxing another man, so I'll leave first." He lowered his head and kissed me deeply again. Then, he said in a low voice, "You must stop before you go too far. I won't let you off if I find out that you have a more intimate relationship with him than me." He did not stay any longer and turned to leave. I was annoyed by his words and shouted from behind, "Locas, stop there. Explain yourself. Do you hear me?" He did not look back at all, only raising his hand and waving casually. Now that everyone else was gone, I was the only one left in the house with Willard. Locas just said that he was hurt. What was going on? I went to knock on his door. After knocking twice, I heard his listless response. "Come in." He was lying on the bed with a disappointed expression. I walked over and asked him with a smile, "It's your birthday today, Willard. Why are you so unhappy? Everyone is here to celebrate your birthday. You should be happy, right?" He didn't speak and even turned his back on me. Looking at his listless appearance, I got onto the bed and shook him. "Willard, Willard, tell me what's on your mind. You always help me. Can you give me a chance to help you?" He looked at me, and I nodded at him encouragingly. After a while, he finally sat up and sighed. "Actually, I don't know how to put it. I always feel a little embarrassed to say such things." I held his hand. "It's fine. You'll feel better if you tell me. Sharing is precious." He hesitated for a long time before saying, "I feel very embarrassed. I want to make a beautiful fruit plate for you, but Simon is better at cooking than me, and I'm not as good at chess as Krell. I originally wanted to show you my collection of portraits of the moon goddess, but your favorite painter is Locas' grandfather. I can't compare myself to anyone else. I feel that I'm a failure and a loser." So that was it. Now I knew why he rarely spoke when we were all together. He was only a little more active when we were alone. I looked at the disappointed Willard and felt sorry for him. Who knew that the usually gentle and kind Willard, who didn't seem to care about anything, would suffer so much? I cupped his face in my hands. "Willard, look at me. Look me in the eye. Tell me, do I think you're a failure? Do I think you're not as good as others?" He raised his head and looked into my eyes. I continued, "Willard, in my heart, you are my most loyal partner and considerate friend. I know that no matter what happens to me, even if everyone goes against and betrays me, you will still be by my side, right?" His eyes watered, and he nodded. At this moment, my heart softened, and I kissed him on his cheek. "Mia," he whispered, "Can you give me a real kiss?" I didn't understand, but I found that his eyes were filled with infinite sorrow. He looked at me with a longing and sadness that I had never felt before. He, who had always been strong, was now as fragile as a child, like a homeless puppy. "Mia..." he begged me again. "Give me a kiss." His voice trembled with a hint of despair. I couldn't bear to look at him. For some reason, my tears flowed. I closed my eyes, leaned in gently, and pressed my lips to his. He didn't expect me to do this, but he reacted immediately. He held the back of my head with one hand and my chin with the other, deepening the kiss. He gently traced my lips with his tongue and explored my mouth with the tip of his tongue. At this moment, there was a clear knock on the door. Krell's voice came from outside. "Willard, are you inside?" We stopped moving at once, and the stagnant air began to flow. Krell's voice came from outside again. "Willard, I've thought about what you said when we were playing chess just now. Perhaps I was too strict with you in the past. Sometimes, I only valued my thoughts and ignored yours. When you were young, you needed protection. Perhaps those methods were suitable, but you're already an adult now. Moreover, you've silently helped me with many things. Now, you're the one protecting me and helping me. I'll apologize if I did or said anything that made you unhappy. If you have any objections, you can tell me directly. Please don't keep them to yourself. You're my only kin. The two of us have relied on each other for so many years. I'm terrified that there would be some animosity between us before." Krell said this all at once before I heard his footsteps gradually fade away. Inside the room, Willard and I looked at each other in silence. He looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry, Mia. I can't let Krell down. He likes you. I can't be with you. But Mia, thank you. I know I'm not alone. You care about me, and so does Krell. That's enough. I'll remember and cherish the taste of this kiss for the rest of my life," he said and stretched out his arms to hug me. Then, he stood up and left the room. Because everyone had something on and left, there was no barbecue. When I got home that night, I thought of the men around me. All of them seemed to care about me and even like me. However, all of them were either noble alphas or nobles of the upper class. However, they all surrounded me as if I was so honorable, like the moon goddess. They all wanted to crawl at my feet. Why? I was so troubled that I tossed and turned. Suddenly, something fell to the ground. I looked in the direction of the sound. It was my diary. Eh? Wasn't it locked in the cabinet? Why did it fall to the ground?